Brain Game

Good morning friends.

Today I am reflecting on the changes that occur in the brain. The ones that must be cultivated in order to heal. Taking all of the dark thoughts, fears, unimaginable obstacles, imagined cliffs that if you step off you would fall and never recover.

The goal was to take those debilitating thoughts and address each one to find the path around to a new way of thinking. Your body cannot heal if your brain is battering your heart.

Back in September I went for a follow-up ultrasound. In March...the original ultrasound was the tool that first indicated something was really, really wrong, so I was terrified...would there be positive changes (hopefully), would there be no change at all (ok, fair enough) or would there be more damage (this was my fear...that all the work can't stop the progression).

I had to deal with whatever, I thought I may be getting medical PTSD. Which apparently is a real thing!

I have purchased several books on handling my condition as well as nutrition and health as well as books on how to navigate life eating differently and not consuming alcohol.

I joined NOOM which helps me set my thoughts in a positive way each morning and I love my coach. She knows my struggles and directs me gently to eat more and feeds me into in how to balance.

I lean on my husband who is working so hard to adjust to his new wife. And he does very well. I love that man!💚

My biggest challenge is I don't know how to be in situations that used to be so normal...anymore. Like when we go out to a bar or restaurant my choices are very slim. No more bar food! So I have to peruse the menu and approve the spot before the green light goes on.

I have absolutely no problem going and sitting with my friends sipping a sparkling water, a feeling of our togetherness is still intact, and I do still like the vibe. But what I struggle with is actually not wanting a drink, or that awesome looking appetizer, it’s the knowledge, in my own head that I am different now. Back to the little girl in the corner of her kindergarten class…there because she doesn’t want to draw attention to herself, yet the Simone act alone turns the spinning red lights on over her head. “There she is!! The weirdo!”

But I’m getting there. We recently had a grand visit with dear friends and family and boy do I have good ones. They were gentle and understanding and put up with me and I love them for every moment.

I think I went all over the place with this one, but as I told my buddies last week, “…you should live in my mind…it’s always interesting in here.”

I’m learning to treat myself with a little grace and kindness. Healing the body and the spirit alongside it. That’s a challenge too.

Love, Sue

#healprydeliver #cirrhosis #cleaneating #alcoholfree #positiveenergy